I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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