party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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