ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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