The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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