Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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