I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
that's an acceptable place to lick
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
