i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
