I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
