also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize