Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
