It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
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