went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
no, he came in my armpit
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
