No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize