i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
