i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
