North Korea, Best Korea!
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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