Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
