I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Oh god it's open bar.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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