Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
