Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
