the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize