I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
