If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
