hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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