She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
