if you like me you must not know who I am
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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