just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
