i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
