We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
