I wannas sexs uuuuu
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
