her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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