I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
