Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
