He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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