i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
