those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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