Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
