please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
