I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
