Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
this will be a night to untag.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
