In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
