so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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