it wasn't lemon gatorade
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize