is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
