in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
