3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
