he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
