i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
