We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
