dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
