Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
