I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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