he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
