Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
