community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
