Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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