I wannas sexs uuuuu
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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