I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
