also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
