but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
