peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Randomize
