Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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