3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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