Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize