Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
