It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
