She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
