I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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