Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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